Outdoorsy

these few days,
i've been talking to people.
a simple chit chat,
but it got me thinking real hard.
rayson made a point.
my routines of sch, SU & sleep does not sound an interesting life.
on the other hand,
siti did make a point.
by getting involved in SU, it is a life.
& then when calvin shouted WAKE UP to me,
(although it's not about related stuff)
it did really wake me.
do i still wanna be so childish & throwing tantrum?
do i really wanna get my mood swings affect me?
deep inside,
i know i really wanna be in SU.
& when siti popped up with the question,
" what's your future plan in SU? do u still wanna be in the exco?"
i couldnt even make my stand
to follow my heart or my ego.

rayson also made a lot of comments about SU.
& i've been hearing a lot about SU from other clubs as well.
we tend to look highly about ourselves.
thinking that the rest is under us.
but somehow i cant really fight with them in SU's behalf.
because wad they say is really true.
i wanna try to change this,
& yet my ego is as high as cloud nine.

putting the ego aside,
i dont wanna give bullshits.
saying i can handle all these.
placing me in 1 of the top 3 ranks.
i mean who knows wad's gonna happen tmr?
maybe i'll be a very bad girl.
i'll just go missing from SU
& abandon all.
& i'll disappoint all those who believe in me.
trust me,
it does break my heart too thinking about that.

so,
anyone with kind-hearted soul,
please enlightened this poor girl.
;(