kamubaukentut

2011-12-13T20:01:00.004+08:00

Love doesnt happen, love as in BGR, not in my life at least. can somebody tell me where's the nerve that leads to the heart? i wanna stop all these distracting feelings.

2011-05-28T22:04:00.004+08:00

i have been feeling really down lately. it's so hard to fake a smile so just ppl wont ask u what happen. sometimes i think if i die, how many ppl will really miss me. i am 22 only and i've made so many mistakes i really regret doing. the only 2 things i really want right now is boyfriend and diving. i dont think i'll find bf soon, so i only want to go diving. once, i'm through with this 4 yrs degree i am so gonna go travel and dive. i think i'm just not fated with guys, i'll befriend with the fishes then.

2010-08-22T00:23:00.001+08:00

So, can i be your best friend boy?

2010-07-04T21:26:00.002+08:00

have been working for 3 months+++,

my life seems a bore since then.

7 days a week,

6 days of working & 1 day of practically doing nothing.

wanted to do something to make my life more fun.

but cant seems to find the right thing.

either budget is insufficient or inflexible timing or just plain no interest.

why why why,

dunno dunno dunno.

maybe i'll never know or perhaps not the time to know yet.

life is fair in a way,

and unfair in another way.

i've been very lucky with my educations.

never had i failed a test moreover flunked a subject.

as lazy as i am, i pull it through the years.

i'm not very wealthy,

but i survived the past 20 years alright.

romance wise,

nowhere near lucky.

maybe i'll live this life single forever, or not.

& my tummy seems to be larger as days pass.

gave up the idea of wearing bikini anytime soon.

i've prayed & prayed &prayed real hard,

but not all my questions or wishes are answered.

i understand though,

God gotta attend to everyone & i dont blame Him.

there's so many mortals and only few of Them.

;)

anw,

happy birthday Ong Xi Gua!

i love you, sisterlove.

hope u enjoy tomorrow. :D

2010-06-14T22:11:00.003+08:00

CASE CLOSED.

i'm not gonna look back on it.

moving on & not turning back.

gotta let go for the better one to come.

so many bad things out of this,

but then the rainbow always comes after the rain.

i got 2 besties standing by me throughout, giving me the pillar to support although most of the times i didt realise it.

break my heart alright boy, but i'll proove it to you our friendship will not be broken as my heart is.

i know i can never have you, but i'm grateful to have you in my life.

p.s: i am alright, really. :D

2010-06-10T21:13:00.002+08:00

if you asked me to wait for you, i will.
if you asked me to be your ears, i will.
if you asked me to learn, i will.
you just have to say it, you see.
but then again,
it's just my wishful thinking.
i'm at the bottom of MOOD mountain now.
and i'm missing you terribly.
;(

2010-06-02T20:17:00.004+08:00

this month has been a good one.
a plesantly good one.
a little summary:

1. CERTIFIED OPEN WATER DIVER

2. TURNED 21

3. DIPLOMA IN CHEMICAL & PHARMACEUTICAL HOLDER

4. FISHES DAY OUT

5. STEAMBOAT-GONE-FAB;MASQUERADE!

6. TRACK-KING

2010-05-14T21:58:00.002+08:00

i'll eventually fall asleep later.
& when i woke up it'll be May the 15th.
despites the date,
i'll feel as per normal, maybe worse
i know jolly well my wishes will not come true.
life's sucks & i just gotta suck it up and move on...
anw,
before i forget or intentionally forget it,
i wish myself a happy birthday.
just be cheery & faster die
because good people die young.

*at least i am glad that 21 years back my mom was free from the huge hump on her tummy.*

2010-05-09T22:05:00.004+08:00

i am so happy!
i've just ended a half an hour call with tahir.
tahir is my best friend while i'm in SP.

despite of our age difference,

we can really click very well.
& i can absolutely talk about anything to him.
& ytd i talked to felix for like an hour plus.
no, not felix my brother.
felix is my best buds like 10 yrs ago.
& i am so glad that we can chat like we used to after so long not talking.
u know distance makes everything difficult.

this is a good sign man!

i should reconnect with all my ex-buddies.
i hope i got the chance to talk to bill.
my buds 6 years back who now stays in the US.
& also viv!
my mate during secondary school days.

* this feeling is so good, especially at times like this.*

2010-05-09T13:28:00.002+08:00

after my very busy weeks previously,

i'm kinda lost right now.

staying at home practically doing nothing.

i am so used to working & having a tight schedule.

rushing to be on time for my flight or even to catch the bus.

& now i am here with plenty of time to waste till tomorrow.

at work,

i have things to do, not-so-urgent things.

but the urgent things keep coming

& so the not-so-urgent things are left behind.

with this particular reason,

i am allowed to do OT whenever i am available.

oh man, i am so in love with Working weekend OT.

even though i have to take public bus that takes me total of 1.5 hours journey

or waking up really damn early,

i am looking forward to OT on weekends.

& as everyone else every weekdays i am counting down to saturday.

but for me it's looking forward to work on saturday.

plus the more $$ that i have means the more $$ i can spend.

so, the whole point of this post is:

1. i think i have become a workaholic

2. being busy is very good. it keeps your worries aside although only for a little while.

on a side note,

it's barely 6 more days to go.

but i am not excited for my birthday, at all.

i realised the excitement of your birthday fades as you grow older.

it's like some fairies took back the magic we used to feel when we were kids.

;(

*It's better to let go and see if they come back, than to hold on and see if they let go. *

2010-05-04T22:57:00.002+08:00

I am officially a certified open water diver.
some thing that i really wanted to try for long long long time.
coming back to normal life was difficult.
it's like my soul is left in the water.
i feel so lost coming back to the ground,
& of course with all the problems that life offers me.
anyway,
i've been thinking to work as diver in underwater world.
i'm not sure they'll want part time only on weekends.
i have no intention to leave my current job. i like it.
but i also want this job.
if i go for a dive trip,
i need money, a partner& of course mom's permission.
but if i work here, i'll get to dive & at the same time i get the $$.
i am now eye-ing to learn surfing.
i am young & i will enjoy my life.

*matters of the heart are very complicated. i'll just make myself busy & forget that i have a heart in the 1st place.*

2010-04-18T13:31:00.016+08:00

Things i want for my bday:
1. I dont wish for a long life but i wish to be happy.

2. tell me who doesnt want money?

3.Nothing is smooth sailing, & i hope for better us. :D

4. Hey, it's gonna be 6 yrs now (if i'm not counting wrongly). We've gone through every possible ups & downs. Personally, i never thought it'll last but it's a fact that we are still tight. :)

5.Face painting/temporary airbrush tattoo/glitter tattoo. Let's do this, aye?

6.Wind surfing & surfing. Gonna get my hands on these!!! so Coool!!!

on top of it all, i still want YOU. hey manequin!!!! :D

2010-04-17T11:00:00.002+08:00

Every relationship has a cycle.

In the begining; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural an spontaneous experience. You didn't have to do anything. That's why it's called 'falling' in love. People in love sometimes say, "I was swept off my feet." Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there, doing nothing, and then something happened to you. Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of every relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your Partner might start asking, "am I with the right person?" and as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationship breakdown. The key to succeeding in a relatinship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found. People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does not lie outside your relationship. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could, and temporarily you would feel better. But you will be in the same situation years later. Because (read this very carefully): the key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person, it's learning to love the person you have found.

Sustaining love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands wisdom. You have to know what to do to make it work. Make no mistakes about it. Love is not a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), just as there are physical laws if the universe ( such as gravity), there are also laws for relationship. If you know and aply these laws, the results are predictable.

Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling. Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go!!

taken from matey's note.
no offence,
but it's so much easier to say than doing it.
been thinking about sing song's grandmama.
she misses her late husband so much that she falls sick.
maybe i should stay single forever,
i wont be depressed when my husband pass away.
or,
i should get married & die before my husband does.

* at times like this, everyone is so busy. i should find myself a new best friend.

don't come to me saying you're my best friend when you dont act like one.

you go reflect on yourself & i will too.*

2010-04-12T19:54:00.000+08:00

bunch of hypocrites.

2010-04-11T13:15:00.002+08:00

i've got my retributions.
i am the foolest person on earth.
i just lost a good friend, a brother
& most importantly, myself.
i am furious,
but i only got myself to blame.
blame me for being so stupid.

*just kill me anyone, really.*

2010-04-11T01:15:00.002+08:00

Dear Mei, Regards,
Mei

i am really sorry, Leonard.
i just screwed up everything.
i am to blame for everything,
from the silly jokes i give to you to what happen now.
i am sorry if my words are harsh, pushing you away or giving you cold shoulder.
i didnt know what you were thinking.
i dont even know what i want,
i really didnt want you to be hurt in any way,
but it seems that i hurt you more than i hurt myself.
i'll be okay & i am responsible for all these shits.
please do not be guilty over this.
go & enjoy your life.
i sincerely wish you all the very best.
lastly,
I AM REALLY REALLY SORRY.

*i should just kill myself*

2010-04-10T22:43:00.002+08:00

i wish human beings have no feelings.
correction: I WISH I HAVE NO FEELINGS.
because people get hurts.
screw them.
screw me even more.
just make me a robot.
or let me die.
but only after i dive.

2010-04-08T21:16:00.000+08:00

hahahahahaha

I AM A HAPPY GOOBER!!!!

2010-04-06T20:35:00.003+08:00

"The truth is, people get tired. Everybody gets tired. It's not at all times people need to hold on."

hey you,
accept my sincere apology.
you need two hands to clap,
and for whatever that had happen between us,
we were both in the wrong.
i'll use the same hand that clap with yours to slap my own face.
I never wanna break your heart nor letting you break mine.
I care for you and so we shall stop the game and face reality.

2010-04-04T16:21:00.003+08:00

25 truth about me...
1. I come from a family that do not say I Love You to each other but we love each other deeply.
2. I might not look or speak like one, but I am really a Chinese descendant. Over the years i got frustated explaining to people who dont believe it so i get tired of even telling people that.
3. The most important person in my life is my sister, but i treat her badly.
4. I am the youngest in the family & so i like people to listen and give in to me.
5. I used to wish that my brother would disappear from my life. Luckily, i get back to my senses quick enough to realize i was a fool all these while.
6. I am sarcastic by nature & will be worst when i am angry/ bad mood. thus, i've learnt to keep totally quiet when i am angry.
7. I have a head as hard as concrete. over the yrs i try to reduce this & still trying my best to.
8. My patience limit is very very low.
9.I am an anti neat person. I like to be messy & wait for my mom to clear my stuff away.
10.I have friends, some close friends and a few best friends.
11. I have a sweet tooth & I cant live without snacks.
12. As much as i look like a gangster, i am actually very very scared of height.
13. Although i dont look like one, but i cry easily.
14. I love to daydream.
15. I hate cigarette smokes.
16. I like caucasians, i think they have a very good features fom top to bottom.
17. I find bald guys hot.
18. Since young i've thought of adopting kids as i think i will be single forever.
19. I wish to have a fairytale love life, but it will never happen.
19. I can live with a hundred bucks a month. i dont spend much except for mobile phones. I have fetish for handphones & will change mine every now and then.
20. I am very confident and I am never on time, i always come way earlier before the time.
21. Although i am only 20-going-21, i have a lot of regrets in my 20 yrs of life.
22. Like everybody else, i wish for a better life but i try to be thankful for what i have now.
23. I hate it when i have my hopes up high & get crushed like a paper shredder. but unfortunately, it always happen to me.
24. I am loyal, just not very lucky.
25. Sometimes i just pretend not to care at all when actually i care very much.

2010-03-10T22:05:00.003+08:00

the best thing about a family is that,

no matter what happens, we are always a family.

and the best thing about my sister, Lika Juwita Oking, is that

i am always her lil sister. period.

*at times like this, i just lost myself.*

2010-03-08T01:11:00.000+08:00

you got me thinking.

2010-03-02T00:25:00.003+08:00

i'm extremely happy today.
because a lot of things made me happy.
hope everything goes well.
& i dont really need to find a boyfriend alr
cos i know where he is.

2010-03-01T00:36:00.002+08:00

I guess i'll blogging often nowadays since i'm JOBLESS.
ah, & i do miss SP ppl lots and lots
but they dont seems to have the slightest thought for me
moreover to miss me. ;(
worst part is that i dunno whether they've receive the package
i made the cd with all my heart and efforts,
right when everyone is rushing for report and slides.
& i sacrifice my time for a simple video just for them.
Now u see how much they meant to me?
anw, life must goes on
so ya, i gotta move on.
apart from all those,
GOOD NEWS: -tickets to jakarta are purchased
-tickets to bali are booked (in the process of purchasing)
-DIVING COURSE IS ALMOST CONFIRMED
-genting tickets are one more step to purchasing
:D
"this post is live from poddy pod pod. :)"

2010-02-27T19:38:00.001+08:00

Genting-Jakarta-Bangkok-Bali.
oh my holidays...

i'm jobless. how how how???

2010-02-26T00:07:00.000+08:00

i feel like dying. seriously.
when i fell asleep later,
please dont let me wake up.

2010-02-25T15:30:00.001+08:00

time to find a boyfriend...

AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHA.

2010-02-19T11:49:00.001+08:00

i hate this feelings i hate this feelings i hate this feelings i hate this feelings i hate this feelings
i hate goodbyes i hate goodbyes i hate goodbyes i hate goodbyes i hate goodbyes i hate goodbyes

"why are they so good to me? :("

2010-02-17T21:57:00.002+08:00

out of sudden i had this terrible feeling.
my heart is in my throat.
it's 10:03 pm now.
less than 20 hours,
and that's it.
18 weeks is just like a flash.

'if i am to cry tomorrow, i want a shoulder.'
"i see a bit of light. please please please, let there be light. Lots of it."

2010-02-12T02:33:00.002+08:00

Happy advance chinese new yr to anyone out there who still check out my blog.
i'm gonna enjoy myself this holiday,
& come back crying to bid my last farewell.
my heart is so heavy just to think wad will happen on the 18th.
after that,
my life is unpredictable.

"it's annoying when people keep wanting you to listen to them, but on the other hand they dont want to listen to your story.

& when all else fails,

at least your family is still there to bring you back standing."

2010-01-17T14:13:00.002+08:00

sitting in front of the tv with my brother besides me.
him, writing on his foolscap.
me, with the laptop on my lap,
doing my elog.
at the same time worrying about my report.
plus my presentation.
...

*HAPPY 17 DAYS AFTER NEW YEAR!*

2009-12-31T22:44:00.002+08:00

i am suppose to count down w/ my big family @ great world city apartment.
half way before i reached there,
i called dad
& he told me no need to come as he will be leaving in an hour.
so i u turn back to khatib.
guess wad?
when i am at bishan station,
my sis called and say that she didnt intend to go home.
only dad is going home.
so now, i'm at home alone.
my first countdown alone after 20 yrs!

i'll just sleep then,

although it's noisy downstairs. -..-

2009-12-26T21:43:00.001+08:00

Although this year i dont feel the xmas spirit,

it's still not bad luh.

cant blame me,

i only have the tuas spirit. LOL

anw,

HAPPY CHRISTMAS PEOPLE!!!!

2009-12-18T12:19:00.001+08:00

feels so shitty.
God have mercy, please.
:(

2009-12-15T21:08:00.001+08:00

when you thought that life is good,
it changes 180 degrees.
when you thought life is bad enough,
it gets worse.

so wad should you do?

2009-12-08T21:20:00.001+08:00

"you are not good,

you are the best."

2009-12-06T21:37:00.002+08:00

i am so adorable. XD

*However many holy words you read, however many you speak, what good will they do you if you do not act on upon them? -Buddha- *

p.s.it is written smoky bbq but taste like wasabi...

2009-11-27T00:59:00.003+08:00

maybe words cant describe how i really feel,
but i'm trully sorry.
i know how you feel,
i cant promise you i can pay back for wad i did to you,
but i will try my best not let this kind of thing happen again provided the circumstances allow me to.
maybe i'm not always with you phisically,
but i'm always there for you when you need me.
=)

*The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.
-Elizabeth Foley-*

2009-11-23T20:39:00.002+08:00

sometimes people just have to have a bad day,
and in times like this i just hate reality.
gdbye world,
i'm going to sleep cos i have a terrible terrible terrible migrane.

*hey rainbow you have to come tmr ok?!! bcos your friend,storm, came today.

=D*

2009-11-21T10:48:00.002+08:00

the hardest part of attachment is elogs.
every now and then i will find myself struggling on wad to type.
SHACKSS SHACKKSSSS...

* sister coming back tmr. :D*

2009-11-14T23:37:00.004+08:00

me, being me,
never learnt my lesson.
i should just taped my mouth shut
and stop fooling around.
screw myself again and again.
so angry with myself.
rahhhhhh....

on a lighter note, 48 more hours for poddy to come to me.

2009-11-14T11:39:00.001+08:00

I CANT WAIT FOR MY PD!!!!
PD = PoDdyyy
PD = PayDay
!!!

2009-11-13T16:31:00.002+08:00

YEAH BABY YEAH!!!!!!!!
last night i dreamed my poddy pod pod will be delivered early,
& oh how true it is.
XD

*The mind is everything. What you think you become.

- buddha*

2009-11-12T21:58:00.002+08:00

WOOOOOOO!!!!
SO EXCITED!!!
i finally ordered my so long wanted ipod touch.
hopefully it comes earlier then the stated delivery date. XD

*cc chan going japan tmr. so excited for her too cos i quickly want the mickey wizard's hat. :D*

**work has been extremely awesome.**

2009-11-06T21:16:00.004+08:00

i had a very very weird feelings today.
it's hard to describe.
but yeah....

p.s vabby van van where are u?

2009-10-31T20:15:00.002+08:00

ah, so long i didnt blog.
things kinda happen in a flash.
dunno where to start blogging.
so, just a quick update.
me, like any other employee, is dying for the payday to come. XD
& i want long long hair.
i hope my hair grow fast fast.
:D

*with hairnet every 4 days a week, my hair becomes so mee pok. -..-*

**wanted to upload pictures, but my dear sister is practising her camera skills in preparation for her long awaited japan trip.

2009-10-20T21:35:00.002+08:00

my supervisor gave me a task for the week,
& the task is to know everybody's name.
it's a simple thing yet it is so hard.
not because they are unfriendly ppl,
but bcos they all look alike with the lab coat, hair net, mask & latex gloves!!!
the people at SP were extremely nice.
havent get used to it yet though.

for the first 2 days,
wad i have done is :

know the 2 prduct produced; Zetia tablets and Nasonex spray.
record alarm data, make sure cause of alarm is ractified, reset and start the machine back.

but but but there's some problem also.

i'm alone with not even a bar of phone signal.

& food sucks

& i wonder wad can i present for final presentation.

-..-

* SP has a very cute disposible ear plug!!! it's in bright pink & yellow! :D*

**FB is flooded with ppl uploading CPTC pictures. i feel like crying man! everyday the journey back to JE will remind me of how fun it is & how lonely i am now. :(**

2009-10-17T13:12:00.001+08:00

i'm having post CPTC syndrome & pre attachment syndrome at the same time!!!
which basically means,
i miss my friends.
all of you, period.
;(

2009-10-14T19:58:00.005+08:00

"thank you for being the fire warden for the past 5 weeks."
u must be kidding me,
cos when i look back
i've been doing the same thing as everyone else. :D
dunno why some other ppl think fire warden is big shot.
tsk tsk
anw,
thanks to u too, oh trainer.
for the ups and the downs. LOL

end of CPTC.

moving on to the next chapter.
:D

2009-10-12T15:18:00.004+08:00

things i learnt from CPTC:
- vending machine is your best friend, pantry is your close friend, toilet is your enemy.
- CPTC is a chalet, the plant is a playground.
- for the very first time, i played table tennis. *hooray!!!*
- shift trainings do bond people tgt.
- i found another yummy food : RAISINS BREAD!!
- having shift with jimmy was UNEXPECTANTLY VERY FUN!!! :D
okay byebye,
me, a happy girl with big fat smile, is going to study or do logbook provided i'm not distracted by anything.

2009-10-08T18:45:00.002+08:00

i dont like night shift
because my brain will automatically changes mode
& i will start to talk nonsense.
& take ytd night as an example.
& lucky there's no more night shift.

*so fed up with the bus company. RAH!!!*

2009-10-06T18:28:00.002+08:00

i feel so helpless.
seems like i'm all alone.
i'm frustated,
and yet i feel bad keep venting out to xi gua they all.
hate this feeling man.
life really sucks.
feels like standing up for me & ah seng
but when u dont have the authority,
u are just nothing.
a peanut is always a peanut.
RAHHHHH....

2009-10-04T16:09:00.004+08:00

awww,

me & my never ending mucus.
adding to the oh-so-sian life of mine these few days.

pretty excited for attachment.

but my heart feels so heavy.

how to survive 5 months w/o van by my side.

w/o cantik to talk to.

w/o toot toot to take train with me.

w/o MY to sit with me on the bus.

w/o didi to ask questions to.

w/o dom to dsiao.

w/o them to eat/gossip/talk/laugh/bitch/fight tgt.

HOW????

i'm so gonna miss u. :(

i'll find every single one of u every now and then after work.

*the thing to remember when travelling the trail is the trail is the thing, not the end. travel too fast and you miss all that you are travelling for.*

2009-10-03T11:18:00.001+08:00

welcoming my new home.
Schering-Plough.

:D

2009-09-30T18:25:00.002+08:00

OMG!!!!!!
my house just shake for about 3 minutes.
& surprisingly the 1st person that confirm the earthquake with me is Le How!!!
i thought i'm having headache.
and thought i'll faint.
told brother to faster change.
prepare to run down.
LOL

yes, funny but i'm so scared!!!!

so i must say this before i regret,

i love u all okay.

*i typed this right after the quake stops.*

2009-09-29T20:39:00.003+08:00

it'll be good if i graduate with Diploma in Chemical & Pharmaceutical Technology
plus
Open Water Diving Cert.
but then again,
seeing the situation now,
mom keep reminding me so many ppl died because of diving.
so my plan might be postponed.

cant wait for attachment cos i want the $$$.
LOL
i wanna buy itouch & wii.
saving up for diving + backpacking.
;(

*me & my blocked nose.

me & my SEXY voice. :p

me & my expiring ezlink card. :( *

**some people are just enthu for the wrong things.**

***some people are either blind or pretend to be blind. after so many years together u should know who are friends and who are not. stop making things worse.***

****see how much we've grown. :D****

2009-09-27T20:03:00.002+08:00

my throat is sore!!!!
it's like a huge ball stuck in the middle of my throat.
RAH!!!!!
it shucks shucks shucks

i'm starting to enjoy CPTC.
so sad it'll end so soon.
& not forgetting i'm gonna be stucked with someone very very very hao lian.
gonna be a good exercise for my heart.
LOL

*i never know khatib is more popular than orchard. lee hsien long always visit khatib but seldom to orchard. LOL. jkjk*

**thinking of buying wii. :D**

2009-09-23T18:11:00.002+08:00

i should just keep my mouth shut.
really didnt mean to offend anyone.
i'm trully sorry k toot toot.
;(

& the person still havent called me.
-..-
RAHHHHHHHH...

2009-09-20T18:25:00.002+08:00

today's date is so nice. 20.09.2009
i hate this weekend.
it's a long one but i hate it.
i dunno when the person gonna call me.
rahhhhh.

*i dont know, that's why i'm very scared.*

2009-09-19T14:35:00.001+08:00

"Lastly.. If it;s yours its yours so dun be disheartened if u dun get the job."
oh, brother.

2009-09-17T18:26:00.003+08:00

i want CPTC to end faster.

and yet i hate it that there's only 31 more days for CPTC to end.

no, it's only 21 more days of training (excluding weekends).

it sucks man!!!!

cos the moment it ends,

i wont be able to meet my friends as often.

count it very hard.

seeing everyone will be so busy.

-..-

TO THOSE I'M CLOSE TO,

READ THIS ATTENTIVELY!!!

I'M GONNA MISS EVERY SINGLE ONE OF U.

I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO ENTERTAIN U ALL

& U ALL NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO ENTERTAIN ME DURING FREE TIME.

SO SAD... :(

THIS FEW MONTHS/YRS HAD BEEN VERY MEMORABLE TO ME.

I HURT U, U HURT ME

DOESNT REALLY MATTER

COS AT THE END OF THE DAY,

WE'LL BE MUCH MUCH TIGHTER.

I CANT IMAGINE MY POLY/CPTC LIFE W/O U ALL

IF I'M GONNA BE FAMOUS ONE DAY,

DONT HESITATE TO ASK FOR MY AUTOGRAPH.

I'LL GIVE U ALL MORE THAN THAT.

*please accept me. maybe one day i'm able to go to europe. ;)*

**toot toot, i'm gonna miss u too!!!**

***yay!!!! my tagboard is back.***

2009-09-14T21:26:00.000+08:00

OMGOSHHHHH...

finally after dunno how many tries,

i can blog properly.

rah....

it's been so tiring to think wad to eat for lunch every single day.

never have i thought i will miss NYP food this badly.

CPTC has been of course very very tiring in many ways.

but there's one thing that i like.

it sorts of bond us together in a way.

maybe not with everyone,

but i'm happy with these people now.

cant wait to graduate.

i wanna dive dive dive dive.

rahhhhhhh.

2009-09-05T17:46:00.000+08:00

if any of u having problem with liu shuai talking to u on MSN,

do not worry.

because we're on the same boat.

he noobly asked me whether i got diving ticket.

DIVING TICKET????

gosh....

anw,

my familiy is so cute.

after my napfa,

sis treat me eat thai food.

bro brought back 12 doughnuts

mom keep my fave bee hoon.

& i treat myself mac.

AHAHAHAHA

the other day we went to eat the soup spoon.

take a look below.

the bread bowl is as big as my dad's head.

LOL

and see how cute he pose.

but wait till u see he imitate da bao.

u'll laugh non stop man.

and some stupid things i did.

MEI'S PHILOSPHY:

SEE NO EVIL, HEAR NO EVIL, SPEAK NO EVIL, ACT LIKE AN ANGEL.

(the red heaband was from my cousin.

it's supposed to be huan huan's hair.

huan huan as in one of the beijing the olympic mascot.

but it looks like some deity's hair. LOL)

& presenting to you the one and only.

MEILION!!!

ahahahahaha

*still trying to figure out wad to do with my tagboard*

**gd luck all for CPTC. ;D**

2009-09-01T16:47:00.002+08:00

i know i just blogged.
but there's something i need to say ( before i forget)
LOL
i know that some of my coursemates want to continue studying in university.
& yeah i've also heard their major setback which is GPA.
if i could,
i would exchange my results with them.
i can settle with a good job.
(that includes good pay. if i can go travel around the world that'll even be better) ;D
although dad wants me to continue studying, degree cert can wait longer.
i'll have to learn diving & other fun thing first.
LOL
my 20 yrs have been passed as a student so i want something new.
:D

*cantik, if i can exchange my results you'll be the 1st candidate. ;)*

** i have to/need to/ought to get back to studying.**

2009-09-01T16:39:00.002+08:00

ah, cant help but to blog.
i'm so dissapointed that i chose the wrong elective
i'm even more dissapointed that the module is so freaking hard to understand
i'm extremely dissapointed that the lecturer who is supposed to help us is more of a hindrance than help.
rah....
tmr is my INMSB paper,
my I NEED MIRACLE to SCORE B paper.
-..-

*D I E*

2009-08-31T21:04:00.001+08:00

again blogger is so problematic.
major tsk tsk.
i left with 1 more paper to go.
my DDWSA paper.
my DIE DIE WONT SCORE A paper.
-..-
& napfa in 3 days time.
wad a good preparation for cptc.
$200 + muscle aches.

2009-08-29T00:14:00.002+08:00

i watched G force premiere today.
jiejie called me to ask whether i wanna watch movie cos she got free tickets from her boss.
i agreed since it's free.
then she said 'we'll watch g force'
i just directly okay her.
i mean i know there's G force movie but i never keep track of the dates the movies are released.
so yea...
she said u go out from home at 6 cos she's not sure of the timing (her boss was in a meeting)
& i left home at 6.45 -..-

best thing was i forgot to bring my pchem notes out although i had all the intentions to study during the journey.
so never mind,
since i'm late alr i'll just listen to my mp3.
i plugged the headset to my ears.
the screen says 3 more minutes to next train.
the train havent even reached,
yet my mp3 died on me.
-..-
& still never mind,
i decided to sleep so that the journey feels faster.
if i'm the type who always blurts out vulgarity,
i would have said out all those nasty things.
cos i overslept till city hall when i'm supposed to change train at dhoby gaut.
& it was peak hour
& train back to dhoby gaut was as packed as sardines inside a can.
while waiting for this train then i realised g force isnt even released for public viewing yet.
then i raced to vivo's GV with my hurting-open- wound leg.
-..-

* i was exaggerating about the open wound leg. it's just a 0.01 mm wound that's disturbing & painful when it comes to contact with water & when there's pressure*

** i gave up trying to repair my tagboard. ;(**

*** this post is like my IS&LP answers. LOL***

2009-08-23T01:55:00.004+08:00

blogger finally allow me to blog properly. -..-
i cant believe all bad things really happen in the same day. ;(

anw,
went back to school the other day.
they said for studying, while i said for eating.
LOL
everytime i got a little bit of mood to study.
that joyce would disturb me.
you all shouldnt be tricked by her appearance.
her head alone weight tons!!!!
:(
& of course i had to disturb her back right?
these were taken with her phone's front camera which explains the not so good quality & of course primarily because SHE'S INSIDE THE PICTURES!!! lol
the nicest picture taken because, again, SHE'S NOT INSIDE THE PICTURE. :D
see her retarded look. -..-
ignore the basin, the toothbrushes, the hoodie. JUST FOCUS ON THE HAIR! OMG...
i came out with a way to protect the snacks. ahahahaha

i think i'm very very bad.

i even disturb kenny while he's studying.

moreover it's on his birthday.

tsk tsk

one of the evidence.
i find myself very sexy in the picture though.
AHAHAHAHAHA

&&&
there's this new bakery shop near my house.
they sell mini mooncakes in very very cute shapes.
=)

* & i thought it'll be my last exam. and then i remembered there's exam in CPTC too. DANG!!!*

**JOYCE!!! PEACE!!!! =D**

2009-08-17T04:09:00.001+08:00

it's dawn now.
couldnt get myself to sleep cos i spent the whole day sleeping just now.
so bored.
noone online (duh!!!)
no mood to study. it's as if now is holiday time.LOL.
i went to kenneth's birthday chalet ytd.
there wasnt many food as compared to normal BBQ
despite of that i'm still thankful that he invited me.
& i think he's thankful that i came. no, we came.LOL
i mean come to think of it.
even if u've got a lot of friends there's only a few that u can depend on.
often ppl just forget u when u arent needed anymore.
and i'm glad i had this kind of friend who remembered & treasured me even when chingay's way over. :D
spent the night there.
had few hours of torturing sleep cos the guys were snoring happily. ;(
lucky ben has to work in the morning so i didnt have to bear the snoring any longer.
LOL

*i think i should just slack till 9am then send mum to airport.*
**msn is such a good way of publication. many ppl wanna go diving with me**
***blogger is such an ass. always makes my life difficult to post.-..-***

2009-08-08T00:29:00.003+08:00

had a short anger with my blog.

dunno why the posting layout was changed.

anw,

i just wanna say I LOVE MY PANDA!!!

*dive dive dive!!!! soon soon soon. ;D*

2009-08-04T01:15:00.003+08:00

currently re-downloading labview.
after freaking 3 hrs++ it's still 69 %.
i should have downloaded it while i took my afternoon nap.
DANG!!!
& i'll be using it only for 2 hrs max.
-..-

anw,
today i learnt quite a few things:
1. DO NOT LAUGH AT PEOPLE. WAD COMES ROUND GOES ROUND. right van? *wink wink*
2. a shortcut to make printshot things cut nicely. :D
3. cc email to other people. if u're the recipient, at least inform the sender whether u've received the email. SPECIALLY IMPORTANT FOR IMPORTANT EMAILS!!!
4. friends u can depend on. be it for helping u take notes, pon tgt, eat tgt, study tgt, die tgt or any other things. MUST HAVE!!! *there are more important things in life other than academic results. but without it, u can get a lot of things.*
5. nowadays decision is not taken by majority vote. one SPECIAL person can change the decision even if the rest disagree.

a day to be commemmorated,
not trying to humiliate anyone.
but to remember the fun we had in our poly life. =D

*i<3 u. ;D*

2009-07-28T00:41:00.004+08:00

i decided to delete my previous post.
if u havent read it,
then too bad. LOL
anw no one is perfect.
but then again,
that's the purpose of me having a blog right?
to rant about everything.
but of course,
i dont want to make things worse
& will never wish for that to happen.
=)

*my sister is going japan.

she wanted to sponsor me to go with her.

but i got attachment.

so much for a free trip.

-..-*

2009-07-20T00:40:00.004+08:00

till now,
i still find harry potter is a bit too much.
JK Rowling has a very extraordinary imagination!!!
too extraordinary until i dont understand the story.
=(
the movie was dissapointing as i expected something way more than that.
(although i never follow harry potter story)
lucky i got narrator sitting beside me.
LOL

my sis is being an ass.
i told her about the checkered guy story.
she laughed so loud in the public.
& since then she keep making fun of me.
-_-"

my mom & sis said didi is handsome,
but they want to cut his fringe or at least clip it up.
LOL

*orange julius cheese popcorn is so so nice. ;)*

**i wanna learn diving!!!**

***i wanna buy canon KC-18IL paper***

2009-07-16T21:12:00.002+08:00

the rainbow really comes out after the storm.
LOL
life's not bad after all.
:D

2009-07-13T17:08:00.005+08:00

it's though being a student,
u had to worry on how to catch your lessons,
how to understand it,
how to apply your knowledge,
and of course, your results.
i felt so stupid not reading the questions properly.
not studying all the materials given,
and screwing up the paper.
for the very first time, i'm really scared of failing a module.

seeing my results over the 2 and a quarter years,
it's been going down the hill.
i thought juggling my CCA & academic life was the reason.
my CCA life was hectic.
it took almost all of my time, my concentration & my fats.
not forgetting the politics inside that got me emotionally tired.
so i gave it up.
unfortunately my academic result shows no improvement even after that.
i keep wondering is it me or is it the modules were too hard for me to take?
i choose the later to keep myself happy,
i just cant wait to graduate.
maybe i just need a break from studying.

sidetrack from my helpless life,
my bro came back from Bangkok the other day.
he bought this Thai snacks.
and it it written AMAZING THAI SNACKS.

once he put it on the table,
i told my sister,
"dont eat, amazingly they've packed the snacks since 1998."
LOL

*HAPPY BIRTHDAY EILEEN!!!!! *smooch smooch**

**laughters are always good. ;D*

2009-07-05T14:37:00.002+08:00

had lunch with aunt & my parents at cristal jade today.
thought sasha & julia would come.
but they had their gandmama birthday celebration.
so not fun. :(
the food also ok only.
but i got extra 50 bucks for having free lunch. LOL
life's good.
& my life is getting back on track.
YAY ME!!!!
oh,
last friday i had my period.
feel like dying. -..-
xi gua i'll pass it to u again.
* cunning smiles*
hahahahaha

*blogger doesnt allow me to upload picture. so forget it.*

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY VAN VAN!!!! *smooch* LOL**

***yay!!! tmr BPR paper. finally i can get it over & done with. :)***

2009-07-01T01:06:00.003+08:00

i've been making myself busy these few days.
forcing myself to memorise things about fermenters & safety.
this week has been passing so slowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. i cant wait for this week to pass by.
being busy is better than nothing at all.
alright alright,
here's a sneak peek. :D

*msn tutorial tmr. HOORAY! it sucks! & hopefully i'm awake by 1 pm*

**lunch on sunday with shasha & julia. real hooray! :D**

2009-06-26T13:25:00.002+08:00

rahhh....
im so bored nowadays.
i start to feel the heat of the extra week of staying at home.
apparently my study moood has sink to the very bottom.
i'm either playing games or watch shows.
-..-
& i've left my healthy lifestyle!!
wake up early, afternoon nap, normal bed time.
now it becomes sleep late wake up late & gaze at the lappy till your back aches.
school faster open leh!
i wanna eat gyudon & mac.
:D
& oh joyce mentioned something the other day
she thinks we'll graduate 1 week later since we got extra holiday
while i think we'll start cptc w/o any holiday.
bummer.
i have to start waking up real early & catch the cptc shuttle bus.
-..-
alright gonna go back to my lappy gazing.

2009-06-17T14:09:00.004+08:00

IE has been giving me troubles in posting.
-..-

anw,
last sunday i made jellies.
strawberry & grape flavours.
was supposed to bring it to school to share with everyone.
i think the shapes are very cute!
got fish, chick, penguin, rabbit, car, elephant, bear etc
& my personal fave.
THE NINJA TURTLES W/O THE NINJAS.
:D

but then,

just nice my house doesnt have enough sugar.

-..-

so end up never bring to school cos to ps to share with everyone.

*a beautiful day with a very bad tummyache*

\m/

2009-06-12T19:49:00.003+08:00

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTSSSS
HOLIDAYS ARE HERE!!!!
it feels like christmas.
:D
who cares whether i got a lot of things to do or not.
focus on today & wonder tmr.

quick say i'm a laggard
but but but
3D movie is so so so so COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!
worth the extra money paid.
:)
it'll be better if the seats are at the centre of the screen.
with pillow and blanket. =p

2009-06-10T23:30:00.002+08:00

was watching E! news.
*miley breaks up with justin....*
me: "YES!!"
sis: "why?"
me:" justin too handsome for her"
sis:"..."
*she was seen with nick jonas over the weekend...*
me:"no. they arent compatible."
sis:" yeah, he's only compatible with u right?"
HAHAHAHAHA

2009-06-10T22:49:00.002+08:00

ulcer(s) has/ have been my stalker these few weeks.
big ones.
last long.
& uncurable.
-..-

*study is still boring*

2009-06-09T02:00:00.002+08:00

2 days ago was my granny's birthday.
so we called her & wished her happy birthday.
as i finished all my wishes to her,
her reply was short and sweet.
'thank u. faster find boyfriend ok?'
& i thought it was her birthday.
HAHAHAHHAHA

*mugging is so boring.*

** may the mood come upon us.**

2009-06-04T17:36:00.003+08:00

though i've been dreading waking up early in the morning every day,
i enjoyed school.
i'm certain it's the best time while i'm in NYP.
and i'm not as stressed as last time.
SU is really a stressful union. LOL.
i kinda miss SU people though..
still, i'm a happy wild boar who eats a lot. :D

i think this mug is made just for myself. so cuteeeeeee. :)

*i wanna tell xi gua a lot of things.. but can only say tmr. so that the response is better. LOL*

2009-05-26T19:46:00.002+08:00

wad's wrong with the mrt/ mrt tracks nowadays??

* i cant wait to graduate. to spend my own money & go around the world.*

** my new fave emoticon -..- ( cos it looks like a pig) **

2009-05-22T18:41:00.002+08:00

i am glad i have a fleshy butt
cos i fell down on the toilet today.
i was home from school & my stomach very pain.
so i ran to the toilet once i reached home.
and bump.
i was lying on the floor.
my dad had to carry me up cos i have no strength to wake up.
then i told him " pa, i urgently want to da bian"
LOL

anw,
today we had our palm read.
i'll have one & only bf who will become my husband.
it might not be true,
but if u believe in it, it will right?
maybe i'll marry andrew or don don.
HAHAHA

* a 55-yr-old lady who is a housewife, has 3 children & barely come to the cyber world has a facebook account. shocking but true. & she's my mom. she's there to stalk my sister & brother. HAHAHAHA. lucky i dont have one. :D*

2009-05-16T22:09:00.002+08:00

xi gua: "mei!!! quick take picture!!!"

mei: "okok"

xi gua: "one-two-three!"

mei: "errr wad's that smell, cantik?"

(see that lady!!!)

-.-

xi gua: " quick take somemore!"

mei: *hahahahahahaha*
(buay tahan)

xi gua: "quick la, take a proper one!"

mei: " okok. promise this is a proper one."

so, here it goes.

(finally she's ps also)
:D

* i dont remember every details of my birthdays.
but i remember i do enjoy every single birthdays i had.*
p.s: the story above does not depict the real situation. just for laugh! :)

2009-05-14T22:28:00.005+08:00

i went to SS today.
& i was so shocked that they sell this pig-nosed-turtle.

& it's written "2 for $22.20 soft shell turtle"

WTH!!!!!!

i mean i'm not surprised ppl eat turtle meat( though i wont eat other meat unless it's chicken, beef, pork or seafood)

but then why sell this kind of turtle????

-.-

* my LPF (Lab Partner Forever). LOL*

* dunno, who's this guy. but i think he's HOT HOT HOT. :D*

&, happy birthday, wild boar!!!

2009-05-11T16:52:00.002+08:00

was extremely f***ed up today.
i was joking with ailsa,
& unforunately this girl doesnt catch my joke (almost all the time).
& she thought i was scolding her.
i replied her in a high tone to make her think i'm angry with her though i was just playing with her..
but some people just have to add fire on the sparks.
they say things like 'dont quarell, quarantine quarantine'.
not once. not twice. many times.
if u dont realise,
the whole class at the corridor was listening to u all.
i was f***ed up.

why cant u all just keep quiet? or at least quiten down a bit?

u think i'm that stupid to really quarell with her?

no use saying anything at that point of time.

u all will still say the same thing. 'dont quarel'
& ppl will think i'm really quarelling with her.
if u think i'm f***ed up with ailsa, think again.

i'll be slamming doors, throwing things when i'm f***ed up.
but since i'm in school & it's so unglam to do that.
i just kept quiet. the whole day.
when the day is spoilt, no matter wad the mood wont be good.
go & bitch about me after reading this.
i can be a harrible bitch if i want to.
but i wont do that.
forgive & forget.
that's wad ppl always say.
reached home & i screamed in my pillow.
i'm good now.

thanks for those ppl being concern.
i was just not in the mood to talk.
although it's annoying that u say the wrong thing with the wrong volume & at the wrong time, i still love u both.

this is the last time i'm gonna talk about this.
i'll be keeping this in the diary of my 19th age.
& will tear that page when i turn 20 to save up space for other happy things.
;D

*i'm gonna have my beauty nap now.*
*f***ed up is not fucked up. it's fed up with 4Es.*

2009-05-08T21:46:00.006+08:00

apologise for the long impending pictures.
i know how eager u all to see it. lol
well then,
enjoy!!!!

there are too many pictures...

hope this will do. ;D

*if i make my own movie, the title will be "the Bride & the Broom"*

2009-04-30T20:20:00.003+08:00

i've been looking forward to school like almost everyday.

yea,

it's tiring but i feel time pass very fast.

i feel bored at home most of time,

so school is way better than rotting a home.

i think i've been bad to some people.

but pls la.

u dont even give a shit on wadever u're doing.

& u expect me to spoon-feed u for everything??

get a life please.

*screams*

on the happier note,

xi gua says i'm a guy trapped in the wrong body.

LOL

& didi admits that ang moh generally has better figures,

thus, they're better looking.

& i realised these days

the ang mohs i saw are very very very HOT HOT HOT!!!

rah!!!!

*distillation is quite interesting*

2009-04-26T22:13:00.001+08:00

as vanee says,
i'm having post club crawl depression.
-.-
i'm too free maybe??

*diving lesson will be postpone till further notice. in the meantime, what shall i do?*

2009-04-06T10:29:00.003+08:00

i'm finally back after a long long long journey to the west.

lol

bali had been... memorable.

not in a good way.

& the wedding was kinda boring.

;(

but the trip is freaking exciting.

i went from mountains to beaches.

like a real adventurer. LOL

anw,

will post more if i got the time,

cos i'm back to my hectic life.

2009-03-16T18:10:00.002+08:00

kinder joy is a dissapointment to kinder family.

though life is fcuked up, u just gotta suckit up.
LOL

* i wanna dive so so badly*

2009-03-16T03:58:00.004+08:00

been very long since the last time i typed something here.

too long indeed.

now is 3.59am

not really surprised though.

my biological clock has changed yaww.

& i feel like a bat-woman.

haha

a lot of things had happened since i last blog.

too lazy to type everything.

appreciation dinner wasnt as great as the previous one.

wasnt that fun,

wasnt that yummy,

wast that glam,

wasnt that convenient ( the place too ulu),

& the money isnt in.

who know's maybe this was my last one?

feel guilty leaving club crawl behind when it's barely one-third done.

but i need this holiday,

& i gotta go since there's cuzzie's wedding.

&& i wanna learn diving so bad. ( which i cant, next holiday perhaps)

egoh oi,

i know u'll read this.

croc farm? bintan? sentosa? night safari? ubin? bird park? or bali?

when when when????

*my new friend is so adorable*

2009-02-23T19:55:00.002+08:00

today marks the last day of my 2nd year in poly.
time pass so fast.
i felt like i just left my uniforms yesterday.
soon i'll be leaving my normal clothings too my formal clothings.
lol
i'm excited at the thought of working.
i want to earn my very own money!!!
& i got lots of things to achieve!!
like pay my own part-time school fees.

go around the world in many many days.

adopt a child.
obviously the last 2 have to wait till my pockets full.

Buddha once says,
' Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.'
so for now,
i'll just enjoy my holiday.
:D

2009-02-14T23:45:00.002+08:00

was studying maths till 5am this morning.
tdy is very weird to me.
i kept sending empty msgs
and unfinish-type msgs
and forget to attach a file in the emails
gahhh...
*faints*
& i dunno why i keep blogging when 24 hrs a day is not enough for me.
...

2009-02-13T23:52:00.002+08:00

i was helping myself with some fruits.
end up cut my very cute finger.
now i cant dig my nose.
XD

2009-02-12T12:55:00.001+08:00

life starts to get more exciting!!!!
=)

Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation. -George Washington-

*so deep*

2009-02-09T01:47:00.004+08:00

chingay might be over,
but the memories will stay.
& the friends will last. (i hope)

to my chingay clique,
u are like my own siblings.
i love every single one of u deep deep,
no matter wad has/ will happen to us,
hopefully this friendship will last long long.
*i'm just a call away okay?

i was blog hoping,
read some things.
owh people,
we dont need a bastard partner to acc us.
i dont even see the reason why u still stick with him.
like, so totally stooooopid of u.

alright.
shall stop here.
having my family outing tmr.
yes, on monday night!!!
very weird timing i know.
but then for family,
if they ask for a drop of my blood,
i'll give every drop of blood i have.
LOL.

p.s: after family outing,
i'm gonna burried my brain in valves, integration, laplace transform, countercurrent etc etc.
p.p.s: finally after 2 weeks, i'm looking forward to wednesday.
=)